Respect, Dignity, and Self-Worth

I am NOT an anomaly.

I will not and cannot believe that. I have to believe there are a lot of people like me who do not immediately judge a person’s character on their gender or color of their skin. I was told today that I was more unique than I realize in my thinking. I simply do not understand why someone would think that way.

What just happened?

I was observing a colleague teaching her class at her request. She was holding class outside. The students were working on a small writing project in small groups and were scattered about in a lovely Japanese garden on campus. The garden is open to anyone wanting to take a stroll, sit and rest, chat with someone, or just think. My colleague was dressed professionally, with her University name badge on, and was holding her materials with a clipboard. I was dressed in jeans and a nice top, but not professionally as I was not teaching this day. An older gentleman, who was walking towards me on the path, stopped and asked me what I was teaching. I said that I wasn’t teaching but Dr. S was, I was just there to observe. My colleague came up to tell me that she knew he would come up to me because he had just walked past her without comment. At first, I was confused but then realized it was because she is Hispanic and I am white and the gentleman was also white. She proceeded to explain that this happens to her daily and although she is used to it and ignores it, her students do not have the confidence to do that. Instead, many of the young students either internalize it or allow it to feed their anger. I was angry. I wanted to go back and ask the gentleman what he was thinking!

Remembering

This experience brought to mind my own when I was 19 years old working in an accounting firm where most of the accountants were men. I was subjected to blatant looks, comments, and behavior which portrayed an assumption of me, my level of intelligence, and sexual possibilities. It was demeaning and I literally fought back with my words and an occasional slap in the face.

What Can We Do?

I have concluded that all of this sexual harassment training and multicultural training has done nothing but force these opinions and behaviors underground where they still exist in a more subtle manner. Fighting back must be constructive and educational. Slinging insults and branding people without knowing their character, whether they be white or non-white, regardless of gender, will NOT reap a more civil, enlightened population. I believe our reaction to these instances of stupidity (and YES, I call it stupidity) is important. Unfortunately, that begins with a belief in our own self-worth. Confidence in what are abilities are while recognizing our own failings or mistakes is how we demonstrate our worth to others. People need to take responsibilities for their own behaviors before judging others … sounds like a parable I know. Educators must take the lead in how we behave and present ourselves to our students. Respect, dignity, and self-worth can be modeled and it can be taught.

If Only?

It would not have helped for me to go back and ask the gentleman what he was thinking. The best thing I could do to promote an enlightened mindset was what I did do. Explain that I was not the professor teaching but that Dr. S. was. I recall now that he did have a slight look of surprise or confusion. Hopefully, he realized the more educated and qualified faculty there was the Hispanic woman and not the white one.